Hey, this is Einstein. I guess he’s part cocker spaniel or something. I got him out of a shelter about a year and a half ago. I was looking for a dog because I hadn’t had one for a while — and I wanted one that was house-trained. I’m just terrible at house-training dogs.
So I go online and see Einstein. They had a whole film about him. It was actually really sweet. You see him all beat up and shit in the shelter, and they show how they cleaned him up. God, I love this dog. So I called and said, “I like Einstein!”
The woman goes, “Well, we don’t know if Einstein will like you.”
"Well, can I meet with Einstein?"
"Yes, we’ll bring him to your house, but if he doesn’t like you, he can’t stay. We have to have good homes for these dogs." She sounded very serious.
Okay. I have this really long driveway, and I open the gate for them, and I start to panic that Einstein is not going to like me. So I run into the kitchen, where I have these turkey meatballs, and I rub them all over my shoes.
This woman opens the door, and who knew Einstein was such a food whore on top of everything? He throws himself at my feet.
She says, “I’ve never seen him react like that, ever!” And she left him with me on the spot. And forever, now, he just thinks of me as the guy with meatball feet. He loves me. I can do no wrong. He follows me everywhere.