me: Hey, you’d better come to my going-away party next week.
me: My going-away party.
me: Did you not see the email?
james: I don’t read emails!
me: Oh, well — I’m leaving! Going to a startup dating website.
james, authoritatively: No.
She loves the color yellow; when she emerges from the limo at the start of the season, you half-expect her to be accompanied by chirping animated bluebirds. Ali also gets right to the point, speaking in simple declarative sentences (“I love hugs!”) and describing most of what she encounters as “awesome.” Her next metaphor will be her first.
As for the 25 suitors, they have well-aligned teeth and count among their interests everything from fitness and nutrition to exercise and push-ups.” —I’ve never watched the show, but I heart Larry Dobrow.
time to start unsubscribing from email newsletters with subject lines like,
Don’t Forget the Foreplay, From Partners to Parents
Squeeze in Your Kegal Exercises
Are You Still Fertile?
and so on and so forth.
This post = brills.
Splitting our attention between real and virtual worlds can produce a kind of neural intoxication, research shows. Through our devices, we find a way to disappear without leaving the room. By splitting ourselves off and reaching out electronically, we fill empty interpersonal space and ignite our senses. We can find relief and a fleeting sense of freedom.
Decades ago, the sociologist Barry Schwartz commended the group-preserving functions of dissociating. Everyone, he said, reaches a threshold beyond which working with others is irritating, even unendurable. Finding a mental escape can help us deal with the problem. But electronic devices have led to a serious overuse of this strategy — to the detriment of everyone.” —Sending a Message That You Don’t Care
Just like everyone else. Riiiiight.
(Side note: I haven’t seen the show, but reading about their family in Cookie and Babble years ago left a vaguely fameball-ish aftertaste in my mouth. See also: Jealousy, real-estate envy, and a generalized dislike for anything having to do with the competition.)
“So, I had a really cathartic dream last night that I drove to [redacted’s] apartment and yelled at him for having been such an unavailable boyfriend.”
“You know, the brief bromance C had with [redacted] really meant something to him…I wonder if *he* ever has dreams where he yells at [redacted] for failing to love all of us.”
“Oh! I saw the other day that [redacted] had liked C’s status on Facebook. Was he excited about that?”
“OH MY GOD yes. He wouldn’t stop talking about it.”